Happy last day of march! The past few days for me have felt like drag. I also have come to the realization that my face naturally just stares at cameras with no intention on smiling. Every selfie I have taken I have a blank face. It's not like I am sad when taking photos, I just dont pefer to smile in them, it always makes me feels uncomfortable. A bunch of things make me feel uncomfortable so.. To be spiteful here are some sounds I do not like:
- - silverware clashing into each other
- - the siren of an ambulances-- other sirens don't bother me as much but this one does
- - sneakers squeaking on hardwood
- - the sound of food being chewed
- - mouth breathing
- - coughs
- - loud sneezes and sniffles
- - the pop sound that comes after someone licks something off their finger
- - smoke alarms
- - super loud cars and comercial trucks
- - dishwashers running
- - slamming of cabinets and drawers
- - the snap while opening a soda can
- - the scrapping sound when someone tries to salvage their remaing yogurt
and etc. that I can't think of now
I am tired and want to go to bed. I hate having to sit down and eat food with other people, it is so unenjoyable.
Happy National Crayon Day
mar. 25, 2026
HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today I got to eat a really yummy sandwhich and have a really delicious beverage. Though when I had to park after I arrived at college the person in the spot next to me watched me correct myself like 37 times while I attempted to back up. I really do not like having to back up into spots, but I hate having to back out them even more.
last night the bruins lost to toronto and it was such a painful watch I wish I went to bed early that night
Happy Manatee Appreciation Day!!!
mar. 18, 2026
I'm very tired, I dont feel like doing much anymore. The time i do feel good i decide to play pokemon showdown. I am quite a noob and I don't know really what I am doing, but its fun :) Besides that I have also been watching the Pokemon show itself and that makes me feel quite happy. Everyday for the week has felt like a drag and I just want the weekend to come around.
Bruins lost to the habs in another ot dissapointment. They need to put me on the ice I will definitely score goals and even play goalie. I still have to sort some hockey cards :(( I'm just putting everything off because i feel so tired and want to lay around. Tomorrow I will run a mile because why not.
sorry to the person who had to play against me the other day
mar. 8, 2026
Happy International Womens's Day! Today I recognize the Palestinian women in gaza, the women of Ukraine, the women of Iran, the women of Sudan, the women of the Congo, the women of Yemen, the indigenous women of the the americas who are currently missing, and to the women who continuously find themselves overlooked in today’s world.
It is also important to acknowledge the women who have been discriminated against due to their gender/sexual identity, race, sexuality, disability, and for what they may believe in. All to shine light onto what they have fought for to bring justice to others and themselves.
As a stem student I also acknowledge the women of science before me who fought to be seen in a male dominated field.
(hover to see the names of the women in the images below)
mar. 5, 2026
Decided I need to become a different person entirely. I gotta lock in or I'll get left behind. Got a decent parking spot today. Not much on my mind at the moment. Hope all is well with the rest of ya :P
mar. 4, 2026
I am very angry and sad. Angry that those children in Iran died before they could truly live, and sad for the parents of those 100+ children that can no longer hold their children. America is not unfamiliar with this notion anymore, and hasn't been for a long time. Take care during these times, and don't believe for an instant that your country cares about you.
mar. 2, 2026
Today wasn't the best. Due to the blizzard last monday the entire week of classes was canceled. I was stuck in my home and I didn't have anywhere really I wanted to be, so it felt weird to get back to driving around. This period of self isolation (i guess) left me quite sensitive to other people and the noises that they make. I get quite irritated when it comes to be around others for a prolonged period of time so I just wasn't feeling it today. Everyone in this world is just so loud and I can't take it.
When I got home today I exerpienced a wave of sadness. I found myself remembering the reality of my situation and just couldn't bare to stay in my head much longer. Distracting myself in the past has helped me try to forget all the emotions that may result in me having a breakdown, but it seems lately that even when I am doing something I enjoy I can't help but feel awful. It will pass, it always does, I just hope it passes soon.
It seems like no one around me understands me. My family just doesn't have the ability to understad. It feels like their sympathy and comfort is forced, or not entirely genuine. Every so often I think they just forget what happens to me when I am in an episode or on the verge of breakdown, like it's just a casual cry, when it is so so much more. It's all too much now a days.
I had a good lunch today and my sister bought me a coffee so it seems like today wasn't entirely bad.
Some random person I do not know on the sidewalk asked me if I wanted to go to church on sunday. I shook my head no. I am not too entirely religious, and if I do go to church it's definitely not at some random one with a bunch of people I am not familiar with. I like going to church with all the 65+ people (lol).
feb. 18, 2026
Like everyother thing going on in this world, all will pass eventually, even the bad days. I find myself feeling better today after all that mix of emotions I went through yesterday. Despite getting rained on today :/ it seemed like a relatively good day, maybe it was the quarter pound amount of skittles I ate today but I digress.. The lesson I learned today was, first that world is going to be thankful I'm not going to become a doctor administering antibiotics because I cant do math apparently, and that it does get better. I think I am becoming more and more human becuase those motivational "hang in there" posters with the kitten start to make me feel better. I'm grateful for my access to healthcare, the ability to get an education, a roof over my head, and especially the grand pleasure of seeing the sun shine after a thunderstorm. Corny, I know, but hey its how I feel.
The snow is starting to melt and it's getting warming. While I hate summer, I can't wait for the longer days. ALSO!!!! Punch the monkey has been groomed and held by another monkey in his enclosure! Almost started crying over this before one of my lectures but I had to be nonchalant like that (joking ofc). I hope for many that you are held by others that care about you, and that you get to see a wonderful sunset, or sunrise, both are equally as beautiful as the other.
Feb. 17, 2026
I feel myself growing tired as my days seems to fade into eachother. My days are being stolen from me, my depression has taken away my ability to look forward to an enjoyable day. It takes away my ability to function properly in school and other general social settings. There hasn't been a day since I was 12 years old where I haven't been on edge, scared, or tired. Maybe it will get better soon.
Feb. 5, 2026
My day today was quite hectic as I....LOST MY PHONE... Dun....dun....duuun! Well not completely, but I didn't know where it was for like 3 hours during the day while I was at lecture. I initially realized it was missing as I was trying to check the time, but alas my phone was not in the front pocket of my backpack as it usually is. Though because I had lucture back to back with another class, I couldnt do a deep investigation on its whereabouts. Luckily someone at the Apple corporation actually did something right for once and I could track my phone via the 'Find My Phone' application. It was still at campus and hadn't been taken from some rando....so thats GOOOD!! I went to the library service desk, asked if someone turned in a phone, and then the whole ordeal was over. They did ask me to prove it was mine...like how many phone scams have y'all encoutered, but then I just input my password at it was all good.
Other than all that, my day was kinda ehhhhhhhhhhhh, but I made up for that in a 2 hour nap. I guess the little wild goose chase today made me think about my relationship with my phone. Had I lost it for good, what would have happened? The only concern about my phone was the fact it would put my father into cardiac arrest if I told him I lost it, but also it was weird not being able to check the time regularly. I'd like to say I could survive without my phone, but the world around me isn't suitable for that lifestyle yet. No more payphones to call my family if something happened or if I broke down on the freeway and couldn't call for help. It's just so weird.
Happy Weatherman's Day! ~ go hug your weatherman or something :P
Feb. 3, 2026
Bio major Rina has something to share with you! THE PANCREAS!! :D This endocrine organ is located in the posterior bottom half of stomach, and is stimulated by the increase and decrease of glucose levels. 4 hormones associcated with the pancreas is: glucagon, insulin, smatostatin, and pancreatic peptides. Sorry to dump all that info onto you, but I'm enjoying my anatomy class and wanted to share something. I highly doubt you'd like to hear about alpha & beta cells, so I'll keep it short haha.
I am enjoying this semester so far. I dont think I have ever been this content while doing schoolwork ever. This could be partially due to the new medication I'm on. My doctor switched my antidepressants, and I can vaguely feel a difference. It's only been a couple of weeks sinc switching,so idk if this drug is doing anything to me yet.
One of my new favorite hobbies is playing videogames! For christmas in 2025 (last year I suppose) I got the game minecraft for my switch and I have been obsessed since then. I hope to get some time during the weekend to make some more progress on my world. I have like 7 dogs and 4 cats at my base :P I love each and every one of them. 
Today is the day the music died :(
Feb. 2, 2026
Today was good. Got a pretty decent parking spot for a monday. My anxiety is up, could be the coffee tho. Need nap ASAP
During lecture I was reminded about how bad my math skills have gotten. I need to study up on my conversions. 1 kilogram = ??? ounces. Whatever...
I am procrastinating right now while writing this page. I could be doing homework, but nope.
Happy Groundhog Day! ~ Six more weeks of winter :P
